


for your empty heart

by lora3210



Category: E'LAST (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Holding Hands, Hotpack, Inspired by Music, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Choi Youngmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:08:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27903496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lora3210/pseuds/lora3210
Summary: After Hyuk's first love was ended, Youngmin tries to make him feel better or forget about her by doing some things with him, because he has been loving him secretly.-Falling in love deeper was an easy thing. But hiding the truth was too hard to keep on. The only fortunate thing was that he said he couldn't think about her when being with me. I wondered what was filling his empty inside.
Relationships: Choi Youngmin | Romin/Won Hyuk
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	for your empty heart

**Author's Note:**

> Jang Pil Soon (장필순) - To Your Delicate Heart (가난한 그대 가슴에) (<https://youtu.be/DSjmbi8iAUY>)
> 
> My second E'LAST fic. Maybe I will write one more someday. Please enjoy! :D

"It's like having nothing," said Hyuk. We were at the 8th gate of the airport and Hyuk gazed at a woman's back in a sky-blue denim shirt until she disappeared over the transparent glass door. Soon I could hear Hyuk's weeping and gave him a pat on the back. 

The woman, who once had been an English trainee teacher at our school, was Hyuk's first love. As Hyuk had had a crush on her and given his phone number to her, they could keep meeting until she went to study abroad. They were on good terms with each other but she thought of Hyuk only as an earnest student at everything. Hyuk knew it well but dared not to confess to her as being afraid of her rejection. Eventually, when her studying overseas was decided, Hyuk told his true heart but she asked with warm eyes, "Can you please stay as my close pupil? I understand how you feel but it's not time to spend my time having a romantic relationship." 

On the way back home, Hyuk couldn't stop shedding tears out of his eyes. "I will miss her class and all the time we met." Instead of saying something that could be a little consolation, I kept patting his back gently and gave a deep sigh as if I were the one who broke up at that time. I hoped the time to pass faster than we expected, so that I could get a chance to give him inner peace or joy, as I had been loving him for a long time.

I knew it well that my love would never come true, but I found myself praying that I could be the more precious one to him, rather than a close Hyung who must have been put aside in his mind. If there was really nothing inside there, I wanted to fill it little by little like the spring comes after the winter left. 

Like planting seeds in the dark-brown, soft soil, I did some things with Hyuk such as playing basketball regularly, studying together at the cafe, having meals often, picking up the dolls from a claw machine, and other trivial things that could make him forget about her for a short time. At first, he seemed to have no interest in anything I suggested to do together, but not long after, just like he decided to be immersed in something so as to forget his scar, he began to do what I offered to do bit by bit. To see him smile again was such a wonderful thing that made my heart vibrated with joy. Maybe the one who felt happier was not him, but me.

Falling in love deeper was an easy thing. But hiding the truth was too hard to keep on. The only fortunate thing was that he said he couldn't think about her when being with me. I wondered what was filling his empty inside. "Then, you only think of me and you when you're with me." Hyuk blushed and nodded once. "True. But it doesn't mean that I am loving you. You're just my intimate Hyung and you must think of me as one of close Dongsaeng." Though I was disappointed with his words for a moment, I thought it might be possible for his thought to be changed as I believed someone's rosy face wouldn't tell the lie.

He often blushed his cheeks when he was with me. I kind of got why he did, but also I couldn't get it. I didn't let myself be hasty to avoid making him embarrassed. I just waited for him to tell me what he felt.

The temperature of the air became warmer. That meant the spring finally came. We could see the branches with small buds and some migratory birds at the lake near the school. What I overlooked was the spring wind has the power to excite many people's minds and make them dream of a romance. 

I was not the exception. My dream about a romance between me and Hyuk got more intensified as time went by. But I was still waiting for the time to come to avoid big confusion that might lurk around us.

One day, after having dinner at a small restaurant where Tteok-bokki was the main menu, Hyuk suggested me to walk around the lake. As it was not far away, I accepted his suggestion. 

While walking, I felt the wind blowing. The nighttime was coming and the weather was somewhat chilly. "Cold. Different than the daytime." said I. "Yeah, but it's tolerable." said Hyuk, taking out a hot pack. "Will you take it?" "No, it's okay." "Take it and return it to me a few minutes later." He held out his hot pack toward me. I took it without thinking. The hot pack was not heated up so I had to shake it until it got warmer. "You didn't want to shake it. So you handed it to me." "Exactly." Hyuk grinned offenselessly. I pretended to throw it to him but gripped it tightly not to let it go. 

A few minutes later, as he said, I returned it to him. "My hands are now warm enough. You don't need to give me again." As soon as he took it, he smelled it. "You applied a hand cream? There's a smell left here." "Yes, why?" "Nothing. It's good, sweet." Hyuk put it into his pocket. I made my eyes turned to see his profile. We were about to pass by the street light and I could see his face clearly. The cheeks were pinky like cherry blossom. Suddenly, I felt my heart flutter so much that I couldn't handle it.

Words for confession managed to come out unintentionally if he didn't start to say a word. "You know why I gave it to you?"

"Is there a real reason?"  
"Yes. I……."

I just waited.

"I just…wanted to feel like that I was holding your hand by sharing the hot pack. The pack you held must carry your temperature."  
"You can hold my hand."  
"But, uh, I feel really ashamed to hold your hands."  
"Why you feel so? It's just holding the close Hyung's hand. No more or less than it."

Hyuk stopped. "I don't think so." He turned his head to me to look at me straight. "I really don't think so."

I felt nervous. "Then, you…."

Hyuk only shut his mouth tight. I recalled that he couldn't confess to his first love due to his fear of rejection. "Oh, Hyuk, you don't need to distress yourself. I'm not the same as your first love."

"Can you swear?"  
"Yes, I can."  
"I can't believe it. Your eyes are as warm as hers that I saw when I was rejected."  
"Hyuk, I'm not looking at you with the eyes of sympathy or something like that. You even didn't listen to my answer."  
"Then, what's on your mind now?"  
"Just you."

Hyuk finally burst into tears. "Really?"

"Yes."  
"But I still can't believe it. What if, what if all the things are now lying to me? What if are you lying to avoid this situation?"  
"I'm not lying."  
"How can you prove it?"

I took a step forward to come closer to Hyuk. In his eyes appeared a sign of a little astonishment. I put my one hand into his pocket to reach his cold hand. "You didn't need to use the hot pack." My fingers slipped between his fingers and locked our fingers together. Hyuk started to weep like when he had sent her at the airport. But I knew that the meaning of his tears was different. It was, 

"You can't imagine how much I feel happy now."

_Complete happiness._

We kept walking without a word. I could feel the cold hand getting warmer. I thought that his empty heart might be full of warmth from me. 

I said, "Let's wait for the time of cherry blossom to come. It will be more romantic to date with you under those fancy flowers."

**Author's Note:**

> Thx :)!


End file.
